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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626681">Afraid</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarbageGod/pseuds/GarbageGod'>GarbageGod</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>IT (Movies - Muschietti)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Everything is suffering, M/M, Sad, pure angst</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:09:09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>243</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23626681</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GarbageGod/pseuds/GarbageGod</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eddie Kaspbrak’s last thoughts.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Afraid</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything is spinning around him. His breath comes out in short bursts. He chokes on his own sharp inhales and a hacking cough overtakes him. His stomach feels as though it is rebelling against him, and he struggles to keep himself from slipping unconscious.</p><p>Eddie Kaspbrak has been scared most of his life. He was scared of cancer and AIDS and hepatitis and the dark and clowns and his mother and... well he was damn near afraid of everything. However, Eddie had NEVER felt fear like this. It claws at his heart and shreds his lungs. It crushes his windpipe and stabs through his chest. It devours him from the inside out. You see, in this moment, Eddie knows with absolute certainty that he is going to die.</p><p>He will never have children.  He will never see his children grow up and fall in love and have children of their own. He will never truly be free of his mother’s ghost, now residing in the vessel of Myra, the woman he will never have the courage to leave. He will never tell Richie everything he remembers and everything he feels. He will never grow old and gray with the only true, real love he’s ever known. Silent tears slide down his cheeks, past the soft wrinkles formed by years of unhappiness. He will die alone and sad and afraid. Oh so afraid.</p><p>And then, all is still, and Eddie is afraid no more.</p>
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